6 days and counting...

In 6 days or less I will have a brand new daughter.  C-R-A-Z-Y!!!  I am scheduled to go in for a c-section with my favorite doctor  (Dr. Alt) at 8 am on Tuesday, July 12.  We have to be there at 6 and then the procedure should begin around 8.  The decision to have a c-section has been a very difficult one for me.  I had THE BEST labor and delivery story and experience with Cadence.  However, the recovery was horrible!  *Warning: the following info could be TMI for some of you, so read at your own risk.*

With Cadence I had a 4th degree tear and it literally took at least 8 months to feel semi normal "down there."  It was truly miserable and I have never had so much pain in all of my life as I did when recovering from delivering CadyBug.  Cady was 8 pounds and 7 ounces 2 weeks early, so apparently I produce big babies and my body wasn't quite prepared for that.  So, this time around my doctors have told me that I could totally have a c-section if I wanted to.  They said if I have a vaginal delivery I may not tear, but there is a good chance I could tear badly again, and if that were to happen I may never be the same "down there" again.  Do I really want to go through all of that again and chance being in pain for the rest of my life, along with other issues and complications?  I had an ultrasound last week and it shows that Emily, too, is a big girl.  So, after much prayer and going back and forth and back and forth, Matt and I decided that it is best for me to have a scheduled c-section.  I am nervous about the whole procedure, and I am not excited about the fact that I won't be able to hold her right after I have her.  But, in the big scheme of things, it's not really that big of a deal.  I will know for sure that all my parts will be in tact and I will be pain free "down there".  :) 

So, here we go!  I was already 2 cm dilated last Thursday at the doctor, and I go on Friday to be checked again.  I very well could go into labor before my scheduled date, but regardless they will do a c-section.  I can't believe the day is approaching so quickly!  I have mixed feelings, if I have to be honest.  Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to meet this precious child!!  But, I am nervous about all that comes with a newborn and having a second child.  Right now I have my routine down to a science with CadyBug and I am so used to it just being us during the day.   I am concerned she will feel left out.  I am concerned I will have tons of mom-guilt.  I am concerned I will be too exhausted to give my children (in particular Cadence) what she needs.  I just have lots of concerns.  BUT, moms do this every day right?  I can do it!  :)  I have a wonderful, supportive family and a God who gives me the strength to get through every day.  I need to quit worrying and just get ready to embrace all that is coming:  the good, bad and the ugly.  :)  I am SO blessed and I feel like I am living a dream every day.  God is giving me just what I prayed for and desired since I was a little girl:  an amazing husband, healthy children, and the chance to be a stay at home mommy.  Thank you, Jesus for my blessings!

I will try to keep the blog world updated on the arrival of little Miss Emily.  I am sure it will be awhile before I blog, but I will do my best.  :)  Here's to becoming a mommy of two!!!  :)